I have been a member of CFB for close to 10 years and attend mostly 6 am Monday to Friday Class. The people that attend this time slot are a fantastic group, and recently I heard a few talking about how the 6 am group has not been featured in the “Spotlight” that CFB has from time to time. I took this statement as a “cry for help” from my colleagues and a very desperate plea for attention. So here is a “Spotlight” on the 6 am class, somethings you may not know.
Some members have had nicknames assigned to them, all respectful, of course. We have The Godfather, Doc Hollywood, Crabass, Warry, B-Rad, No show Nels, The Mayor, and Mr. Ambassador. If you don’t know who is who, some are more obvious than others. See if you can identify them and have a laugh.
Of the squares tapped off on the floor since COVID began, we have assigned one as a Celebrity Square. Initially established for a couple of past 6 am boys who now work from home and find the 10 am or mid-day class more to their liking, maybe the slower pace, but we are not judging B-Rad/Todd. When they occasionally come back to visit us, we put them into the “Celebrity Square.”
A small group of athletes from the class gets together once a year with spouses for an unofficial CFB 6 am Christmas party, and this usually involves a bus ride to the destination, a cooler with refreshments for the ride, and the night ends with a drop off at your home front door. The night allows for enlightening conversations. Many new stories are without planning, photos that become bigger stories during this night as they are remembered and re enacted the next day. This same group also has a yearly unofficial CFB Boat Day, no spouses, this time. During the day, many phone calls or FaceTime are made to various 6 am class members, coaches, and Tamers. These are very entertaining calls mostly for us, but we also think it is the highlight of their day. Next time John, please let us know your wife is in the car, we would have toned it down.. well maybe. Some wiser people refuse to take our calls, this only leads to These events, while wonderful, have caused some not surprisingly discussions between husband and wife. Two members of this small group formed a counseling company to ensure those discussions remained healthy. T & R Counseling Co, their office is in “Champs” just down the street. Open to all CFB members, sessions are not confidential but are free, drinks for entertainment is appreciated.
Every Friday BOC (Breakfast of Champions), many of us meet after class at The Breakfast Club, more recently you may have recently seen us in the CFB car park during the COVID shutdown, either BBQing or last week we followed our unofficial CFB nutrition program and had McDonald’s. During this essential BOC, the discussions are extensive and provide insights into one another, as well as continuous discussions at later dates when the story is retold, usually more significant and better than before. Doc Hollywood’s book of the week, 30 minutes are killed telling us all about it. We think Doc wants to save us paying for the Podcast, we think it is him preparing for his book club meetings. Another time Doc Hollywood wanted to start a “1 800 Call Doc” practice citing how COVID had changed how to do doctoring. So we started making pretend phone calls to him at the breakfast table, explaining our sickness and health issues. He said he reconsidered this business after our role-playing. We learned that B Rad thinks he looks better after he consumes one glass of alcohol, or Warry saying one drink is enough for him and he is ready for bed, and the GodFather saying he spills more than that. If you want to see Crabass smile, yes, it is possible at BOC the waitress calls him Pretty Boy when he walks in or places his order. He is always the last to arrive, making that grand entrance. No Show Nels, don’t let his size fool you. He eats like a horse, yet it is only when it is not his turn to buy. The Godfather and his secret stash of Peanut Butter under the counter that only he had access too. Now we all ask for The GodFathers peanut butter, wondering who will wake up in bed with the horse’s head. We had a member order an extra breakfast for his girlfriend, who was at his house waiting, he slipped out to go get cash from the ATM while her breakfast was being prepared, and return with all of us gone and his girlfriend’s order increased to include whipped cream and strawberries. We watched members drop an egg on the floor, pick it up, and continue to eat it because he was too consumed in the conversation. We now have the waitress telling dirtier jokes than us. There has been much discussion over BOC’s location, The Breakfast Club or Little Chef, with many having strong comments on either place. The GodFather has powerful points on The Breakfast Club that many do not wish to contest, plus The Breakfast Club location does offer the best view of the CFB 7.15am class, which provides us with many topics to discuss.
The 5 am class breaks the seal on the door, turns on the lights, and does their thing. Yet it is the 6 am that establishes the environment, for the critical 7.15 am that typically includes Tamers and the beauty sleepers. Fun Facts 7.15 am. This group is sensitive to the room temperature, so heaters must be on, sensitive to bright lights as they have just woken up, so only half the gym lights are on. The old guys need quick and easy access to the men’s locker room as they need their 3 to 5 trips to pee, so 6 am’s ensures the path is clear and easily accessible. (As a side note, we have identified a few who should have a check-up. Doc Hollywood has offered to perform exams at CFB, even suggesting calling it “DOC,s WOD”.) 6 am ensures the perfume smell from the showers is at the desired level and flows out to the gym to ensure the 7.15am know The GodFather and Crabass have showered. Timmy B also makes sure the locker room heaters are at the desired temperature for when we leave. 6 am ensures the CFB Mission Statement has been honored. “You,ll hear no clicking/delete from our class.”
Fantastic coaches CFB is blessed to have, and “your very welcome” as most come through the 6 am as part of their training and personality development. A few have come and gone. If they can make it at 6 am, they can make it any time slot, the Tamers says. Some have chosen other time slots, we are not offended, we recognize some classes don’t really need coaching like 6 am. Important points for a coach’s success at 6 am, do not venture into the back row with the thought of coaching unless you think the athlete has real potential. And if a flattering comment is said to one of those athletes, it must be communicated loud and clear for the class to hear so that banter can begin on that person.
Coach Jill, well, she is just so lovely and so good at her job. When Jill went from every day, 6 am coaching to only two days a week. First, we panic, what if they replace Jill with Coach John? But given he would have to wake up so early, and miss out on his beauty sleep we knew this was not going to happen.
Coach Nels, yes, I can’t believe I am saying that either. As you know, getting married early next year, he is getting very sound advice from all of us in his readiness. Having quick and easy access to T & R Counseling will be very valuable to him.
Coach Jodi is our favorite of the Helminen family, yet don’t let the smile fool you. She knows when your sandbagging on your workouts and makes sure everyone knows too. Fun fact, there are more first names, Tim,s in the 6 am than Jodi has children?
Coach Larry is only an occasional 6 am coach. He likes it because it gets to write the WOD out nice and straight on the whiteboard, highlighting his teaching skills, and so we can comment on how nice it is. We like it when he coaches because he must keep his shirt on.
While this would appear male-written and around, the class has a wonderful group of ladies who attend and have become regulars and very much part of the 6 am cult and family, as well as outstanding athletics. Thank you to them, they laugh at our jokes and banter, and this is before the ladies have had their morning coffee. Recently appointed nickname of Ms. Imelda Marcos, you may recall she was famous for having closets full of shoes. One of our lady members told us she has a thing for running shoes/CrossFit shoes and has a different pair for every workout. She also recently questioned, “No Show Nels” as to where he has been, which drew much cheer and encouragement from the class and has earned her a spot in the Celebrity Box in an upcoming WOD.
To all CFB members, 6 am open to all, and you are more than welcome (of course) to become part of the 6 am family. Bring a happy face, be available to a laugh, and be prepared to have the best 60 minutes of your day. And maybe the Celebrity Square will be open.
Thanks,
Anonymous
Happy Holidays
